How I built such a strong connection to Spirit, and was it worth it?
By Steve Huff
Here I am again, sitting in my favorite room, surrounded by windows and listening to music that soothes my soul. I wake up every morning, make my coffee and head out to my enclosed porch to check email, answer some comments and watch wildlife outside in my yard.
This morning I see wild turkeys running across the way and as my eyes scan to the right, I see eight deer running, playing and walking very close to my window. They see me, and seem to have no problem with me or Debby watching them. They know they are protected here, as Debby and I would never hurt a living soul, and yes, Deer have a living light filled soul just as we do. So do our pets. Our dogs, our cats, our birds.
I am aware not everyone believes in what I do, and I am ok with that. I can not force belief down sometimes throat, and while all I do is as real as it gets, there are many out there who are not ready to believe. Not everyone is. Belief for some would bring fear, anxiety and shock and those are things I would not wish on anyone. As humans, we are all unique yet the same. We all go at our own pace, and when the time is right, some of us will open up and truly see reality when it comes to life after death. Those who do not want to see, never will. But it’s all ok.
I always say these days that those who are meant to see my work for the truth that it is, one day will, and when that times comes, they may start to understand why I have been at this for so long and have stayed so passionate about it.
Through thick and thin I have remained vigilant in my quest for not only answers about life after death, but also about helping those on the other side connect with their loved ones here in the physical living world, or just to speak.
Spirits want to be heard, and I am happy to provide them with a vessel to speak and be heard. To me death is not sadness, doom and gloom. Rather, death is a continuation, a rebirth of sorts into a new wonderful world of light, love and oneness. When our body, our shell dies as it is designed to do, our existence does not end. Death should be a celebration of ones life not dark and dreary.
What drives our body is much more than the brain, the blood and the bones we have inside of us. What do you think powers all of the parts that make up our body? We even have electrical currents in our body but at the end of the day, what science will never tell you is that our body is powered by our soul. Yes, our soul which is pure energy. Depending on how we go through life it can be bright or it can be dim, and I have spoken about that before so will not rehash it here.
The soul is something we all have within us. It shapes who we are, where we go in life and it helps us to learn life lessons. Our soul is also very special as it helps connect us with answers, if we desire to see or hear them. We all have the capability to use the power of our soul to not only connect with spirit, but to find the right paths in life. But again, only if we listen!
I mention all of this because it has a lot to do with building a deep, powerful, strong connection to spirit. I will explain more as I go.
In the beginning…
When I first started getting heavily into I.T.C. which stands for “Instrumental Trans Communication”, I was a novice even though I had an interest in life after death ever since I can remember. When I started to take all of this seriously I knew without question that spirits, or something, were speaking through these devices that were available and out at the time. I would hear my name through the static filled fuzz and while it was hard to hear sometimes, other times it clear enough to know without question that I was getting answers to some questions I would ask.
One thing I noticed back then was that these answers were always basic, simple and short.
At that time, no one in ITC was having any luck with fluid, clear, conversations and I wondered why this was. If spirits are here, speaking to us through a device it must mean they want to, right? If this was the case why didn’t they just speak and let us hear them fully? I had no idea then, but I had a passion within me to find out. I made it my goal to do something to allow spirit to have a full voice, to speak clearly and to hold a conversation. That was the Holy Grail for me and a goal I set.
I remember saying on my Facebook nine years ago that I felt in 10 years we would be at a level that would blow many away. I felt these conversations would happen but I guessed it would be ten years until it started to get really good. I admit, that wasn’t some psychic premonition, just a gut feeling. A guess.
In those very early days when most were still using the noise filled and awful sounding P-SB7 spirit box radio I had spirits telling me to “cut the noise”. I created a simple way to do just that. While the creator of the P-SB7 thought the noise helped with spirit communication, it actually HURT it. By filtering out the noise, it allowed me to hear the spirits clearer.
I then started dabbling with reverb frequencies. I was running audio into a pretty snazzy guitar amp I had at the time (A Two Rock Studio 20) and applying various reverb frequencies from two reverb effect pedals. I was seeing the true effect reverb had on spirits speaking. It was helping them, and I was excited by this discovery.
As I tested, and honed in on it, we put reverb into the SCD-1 app and it was apparent to anyone who was getting real replies with the app that the reverb helped dramatically. I even made a demo video on my YouTube channel at the time showing what happened with the communication with and without reverb.
From 2016…showing how reverb aided spirits in talking
I was working on my first device called “the portal” that would include reverb frequencies and a way to “cut the noise”. Spirit gave me that tip and I ws not about to ignore it.
To achieve this I added a simple noise reduction effect pedal. When turned up slightly it would take out 90% of the static from something like a P-SB7 and only allow the words in. With these digital reverb frequencies added, it truly made communication clearer than ever before.
Longer phrases were coming in from spirit, and they were indeed much clearer but one problem remained. It seemed no matter what, I could not hold a conversation with one spirit. I would hear what sounded like many coming in at a rapid pace, asking for help or the light, as there was still a few things I had to learn about how it is spirits speak and what kind of spirits were coming in.
It didn’t take long as again, I listened to what they were telling me.
I will not get into all of the details here, one day I will go into every single little thought and message about how spirit helped me to create my devices, and why they all worked for anyone who had a very solid connection. The connection? Yes, that is something I wasn’t FULLY knowledgable about until about 2017 and that is what propelled my communication to where it is today, once I acknowledged its importance and started to figure it all out. It’s not all about the boxes, apps and devices my friends, rather a connection is the most important aspect of communicating with the other side.
I will talk about this here, and what it took for me to attain this connection to the afterlife that has now become so powerful, blessed and given to me to help those on this earth as well as those on the other side. You may not believe this, but I suggest watching the video below to get a grasp on what is happening today with my communication. I will then tell you exactly how I achieved this level of spirit contact, the sacrifices I have had to make to get here and I will answer the question “was it all worth it”?
An amazing demonstration of my communication in 2022.
We have the dead, taking to me in conversations, clearly, and with messages for their loved ones. Messages of love, messages of peace, God, an afterlife, and so much more.
After the Portal. Wonder Box, Soulspeaker…
After the portal I created other boxes like my Wonder Box, the Gold Wonder Box, the Soulspeaker. At this time I was aware of the connection and how it was important to the communication but I was not fully aware of just how important it was. I still assumed anyone could use these boxes and get results like me. I was getting 20-30 requests per week to sell one of my devices, and so I did.
I made a few per year and offered them for sale charging for parts, time and shipping/packing. They cost me a lot to make as I implanted things such as gold, copper, rare earth magnets and exotic crystals in some of the more custom devices. Some would get results with my device and others were not getting any results, even following my advice and techniques. This bothered me and I truly felt bad for selling a device that was not bringing results. Even though I had a disclaimer stating I would only sell to those with experience and a connection, many fibbed and told me they did thinking they would get results like me anyway, but I understood as I would have done the same, lol.
Back then my results were nothing like they are today…they were maybe 50-60%% of what I get today but they were impressive nonetheless. Even so, many who dabbled in ITC (and the numbers were growing wildly) wanted a Wonder Box thinking it would be easy. I tried letting everyone know the reality. It takes work. It takes proper technique. It takes recording and reviewing, and that must be done every time. It takes hours to complete a 20 minute session when done properly as you have to record it, review it, sometimes even slow the answers down because sometimes spirit speaks fast.
I have since found a solution for the speed issue and it is just now being implemented in my sessions and newest device.
Even so, I was told from within one day to stop selling the devices at that time, as most were not ready or putting in the effort to understand that connection is the key, and that connection comes from Love, dedication, and truly wanting to do this for the right reasons. Spirits know our intentions.
For me it wasn’t about money rather it was exciting to me that others could do what I do and use the same device as me to do it. Others were and still do sell cheap knock offs of my portal, and there are fake counterfeit versions of all of my devices all over as many feel it is just an amp and a reverb pedal, and yes, the very first portal sort of was. But that portal has evolved 8 times since then and my 2022 Bridge Device is nothing like the old portal.
In fact most spirit boxes I see today are all basically a portal in a different shell. Most apps use ideas from the portal and wonder box. That is a true testament to the fact these things work.
What is very interesting is that even those who claim I am fake use a portal or wonder box variant themselves lol. They just give their copy of my device a new name and act is if they invented it. Funny how that works isn’t it? I’d venture to guess that 95% of spirit box devices made today, would not exist today if my Portal was never created. That’s not me being a braggart, it’s a fact.
Everything I implement in my devices have a purpose from the gold wire, to the copper, to the crystal to the “magnetic heart” in some of them. The specific frequencies and the way things are implemented have a purpose but even so, the box is just a tool that helps spirit WHEN and ONLY WHEN you connect.
If you use a box or REAL ITC APP and get no replies it’s not the box or the app. It’s the fact that you did not establish a connection, a relationship with guides. Period. Fact. End of story. My connection comes and goes. I have moments of incredible connections and length of time when it fades. It all has to do with my life. My behaviors. My actions.
To gain the ultimate connection requires you to be humble in the eyes of God. It doesn’t mean what you think…
I see myself as a humble man these days, though I was not always. Doing what I do here has changed me completely, and today I am the man described above. This is a huge reason for my connection and where it is today. I state this so anyone out there who wants to develop a deep connection can learn from my mistakes and my discoveries. After all, this piece you are reading now is all about the HOW.
An unlisted clip where I connect and hold a conversation with a very strong spirt who confirms many things…clearly.
Have you ever shopped for a new car and you had a set budget I mind and knew if you went over it that it could cause financial stress? Even if you have not had this experience you can relate by replacing the car with anything else. So… you get to the dealer and take a few test drives. All of the sudden you want the model that is over budget, is nicer, has more bling and all of the cool stuff. Problem is, it will be $10k over budget but the dealer says “what if I can get you into this for $20 more a month over the lower cost model”?
You then hear an inner voice, which you think is you, telling you that you should not do this, and you need to stick within budget. THIS is what you should listen to but you go ahead and buy the more expensive model, and the dealer extends your loan from 3 or 5 years to 7. You later regret the decision and maybe it causes issues financially for you. You did not listen to that voice. You went against it.
A Mom asks for her Son and he replies with a beautiful message, and answers her questions.
I can tell you now that if you have a choice and you hear that voice, always listen. Now if a voice is telling you bad things like to kill someone, do NOT listen to those voices. Rather, see a doctor or understand those voices can come from the dark. When darkness attaches, we tend to wander around in life with anger, unhappiness, bitterness, and we tend to live a negative existence. We blame others for our misfortunes rather than recognizing it is our negativity going against us.
We can escape it, as long as we want to do so, and take the effort to do just that. My advice is if you hear negative voices, ask for the Help of God as I once did. Wether you believe or not. You may be surprised, as I was.
What I am speaking of here is life choices and things that effect our stability in life. We often make the wrong choices financially as we are led by advertising and bombarded with marketing. But our guides do talk to us from within, in our own voice. This is how our guides actually guide us, and I am living proof that when we listen every time to the good and right choice, life starts to flow, it starts to have an ease and it just happens as it should.
I will of course give you some personal examples but this is the first key to building a connection with spirit. Being able to listen and hear them from within, and to let them help guide you within your life. They want us to go down the right path, not the wrong ones. If we listen, we can choose the right path and that path may lead you to places you never thought were possible.
We can indeed manifest things within our life just by listening from within.
A man gives loving messages to his wife and daughter (members of my YouTube channel) from the other side. This is miraculous and I think you will agree when you watch this short unlisted clip.
We are on this earth for a learning experience. Our soul learns lessons in life, and it is not school that teaches us about life, it is spirit, guides and again, all from within if we choose to accept the learning from them. School teaches us the basics but they never teach us how to truly succeed in life wether it is financially or spiritually. Rather we are trained to “get a job” rather than go follow our dreams and passions and this is why so many are stuck today in a rut of unhappiness.
I will tell you now that to live a good, happy successful life without stress, fear, anger, worry or depression doesn’t always mean financial riches, and it certainly has nothing to do with fame or attention or being a celebrity. It has to do with what is truly important in life, and when one is truly open, awake and is able to see what is being shown to them they understand this. It has everything to do with following your passions and living life from the heart, rather than from what someone tells you that you must do.
Money is not the key in this life, love is the key. Money in my eyes is indeed the root of all evil and causes so much strife in this life. Jealousy, greed, theft, anger, depression, sadness, worry and stress. It divides us up into classes, which is awful. Heck, even when it causes happiness it is short lived.
We are living in an age where we all want “things’ to make us happy and when the excitement of those “things” wear off we are back to wanting something else even more exciting. What we need to understand is we have the tools to be happy within us, without these desires and want for money. Money does not bring happiness. Look at how many celebrities are truly miserable in their lives. Many with financial riches have realized you can not buy happiness. This is true. Back in my 30’s I used to make $30k per month and yet those times were the most unhappy years of my life. Today we get by with what we need, and I am the happiest I have ever been.
While money it is sadly a necessity to get by in life, we are the ones who stand in our own way in this world when it comes to wether or not we are happy or miserable. We are the ones who choose to not listen to what we are being guided with. We are the reason for our own failures and unhappiness. No one else.
It is WE who always get in our own way and it is WE who cause issues within our life.
Think about it… I used to cause all kinds of roadblocks and issues within my life due to my actions, inactions, choices and doing things I should have not been doing. Every action has a reaction. We get in this life what we put out into it. The law of attraction is very real. It has taken me 51 years on this earth to fully understand just how real that is, and I have seen it in action many times.
If we put out negative vibes, that is what we will attract from others. We then start to attract negative people around us. When we put out love and light energy, we get that in return. Which one do you think will make you happy?
Building a connection starts with listening. Once you can do that, you are on your way. But there is much more. As you listen you will start to fully understand there is that “reaction to your actions”. You will start to see the world is not about having this or that, or making tons of cash, hurting others, being angry or feeling as if the world is against you. It is not about owning a mansion in the hills, or having that $100k watch on your arm.
Sure, it’s ok to have nice things to enjoy life. I am not saying it is not. I have a nice Jeep. A nice Stereo. A lovely house and property.
What I am trying to say is those are not the things that are more important than family, friends, peace, calm, and above all else, Love. When we are kind to all, love all, and live a truly good life things we want in life will find a way to us. With that we can attain what we desire organically.
Back from 1995 to 2010 I was in a marriage that was awful. I will not get into the gory details but being married to someone with a mental health issue wreaked havoc on my soul, body and brain. I was beaten down over 15 years, called names such as “loser”, “faggot”, “pathetic”, “ugly” and much worse, again and again anytime an anger burst struck out of nowhere, and that could happen at any moment, any second.
My car door was kicked in over a $5 taco bell outing “rage” and a plate thrown at my head placing a hole in our new homes wall. There was constant verbal abuse yelled at me. There were good days… sure, but it was only a few days until the wrath came back.
Before long, I was sucked into it myself…I started giving it back as good as I got it and when I look back I realized I was stuck in a negativity trap. I started hating life, and being miserable. I played it off the best I could have and stayed in that marriage at the time for my son. Yet at the same time I was running a business in life that I hated and while I was earning $20-$30k per month, I hated it and that was another negative aspect in my life. I always have had a good heart and when I was in this negative space I knew I was hurting my heart and my soul.
I would hear my voice within say “Steve, you have to find a way out, even if it means you will be poor, this is not you”. I would work in my warehouse and office and when I went home I would be greeted with hate and vitriol from the Mrs. all while helping to put her through medical school.
So what was this business that I hated but had to stay in for the money? I was in the adult video industry back in the 90’s, and made a ton of money doing it. It started out as a cult horror movie collection and I would trade these horror movies with others around the world to add to my collection. Soon, somehow, I landed in the heart of the adult entertainment industry and back in the 90’s it was not accepted as it is today. It was still a bit more “taboo” and frowned upon.
I had producers in Los Angeles make movies for me, and they would edit them and send me the finished product. They would write them, shoot them and edit them and I would be sent the master. I would then have them replicated into VHS tapes and DVD’s and I sold thousands of them. I was acknowledged by AVN, and they would review my films at times. But I hated it. I saw what this industry was doing to women as I would hear their stories when I met some of them. I wasn’t into the films, rather I felt uneasy by them even as an unhappily married 30 something male.
I would always treat the women with full respect and they would always joke and ask me why I was in this business. They would tell me they were surprised at my success as I was unlike any other video company out there (I was kind to them). No, I never once tried to flirt with or sleep with any of them, ever, and never did. I always showed full respect. They respected me for that. I also paid them 3-5X their rate so they loved making films for me, and I was happy to help them, or put a smile on their face to say “Hey, I really do care and you deserve this”. They had a tough life though most never stated this publicly.
Even so, when I would hear these stories from the girls about other producers it made my skin crawl and made me feel like I was in the wrong business, regardless of how much cash was pouring in.
Yes, I was too soft for this kind of thing and to me there was no money in the world that would make it better. One day I drove home and told my wife I was done with it all. I saw these girls being taken advantage of, and since I knew the industry I knew that they were all given false hope and were being used. They would come in at 18 and leave the industry at 23, considered too old. I did not want any part of that anymore. I had a business making nearly $300k per year and I wanted to just give it all up.
I put it all up for sale and soon found a buyer. I told him I would sell it to him, all of it..the masters, the machines, the stock, the name for $50,000. A bargain just to dump it all from my life. He was a Russian man from New Jersey and he flew to AZ to meet me with check in hand. I was done with it and that was one of the most important and best decisions I ever made in life.
See what happened?
I listened to that voice inside that said get out, and while my then wife hated me for it as she enjoyed the money, I didn’t care. I couldn’t be a part of an industry that did these things to women, abused them, and played games with their minds, body and soul as it was also killing my soul in the process, and I knew it. Unfortunately, the guy I sold all of this to turned my business into an awful underground operation selling underground bootleg videos that turned my stomach. But I was out.
I did it. I was happy and relieved even when the cash flow dried up..for a while. The next issue though was indeed the money. I had no more coming in. My savings was exhausted as well and soon my marriage would see its end as when the money is out..well, you know what happens.
But that was also a blessing and due to my one decision listening to that voice to get out of that lucrative business, it turned into a massive snowball effect that landed me where I am today. A man of love, peace, and happiness who lives what some would call a dream life that is not based on money, nor is too much of it needed. I have all I need or want in life, period. But more on that later.
It Kept Going like a Runaway Train…all due to listening to that ONE voice.
It’s amazing really. I listen to one voice, and made that decision that many would find hard to do. Giving up that kind of cash that was flowing in each week would not be an easy choice for some but it was for me, and I was aware of the consequences. Losing my house…my car…etc. But I also trusted that voice for some reason, and this was well before I was getting into ITC. Many years before.
After I sold that business we decided to move to a small town, near my mom, where we could live on the cheap. I was happy as I decided to buy a local small Ice Cream Shop for $25k. I decided this is where me and my family would live the easy life ; ) Lol. Something inside told me to NOT buy that shop. It was small, in a town of 700 and run down. But I told my wife and mom I would fix it up and redo the menu.
That voice though, it was saying “Steve, this is not a good thing to do”…but I ignored that voice and vowed to succeed. Long story short, it was awful. I worked 14 hours a day, had to drive 200 miles for weekly supplies and made a total of $3-$12 a day profit. I did get the business to “boom” as I added food, and bought a new ice cream machine that was bigger, faster and of course newer but the profit margin was so tiny and with the expenses of a new machine and constant maintenance it was rough.
After a season, seeing that I made $400 profit for that one entire season, I knew I blew it. I remember sitting down and having a talk with God. A God I wasn’t sure that I even believed in. I asked for help and promised I would do better, and make changes in life if I had to to be a better person. I was tired of making the wrong choices all of the time. I was also in trouble as the money was dwindling and nothing was coming in. I told my mom I could not re-open the shop the next season as it was not worth it.
Two weeks later I get a call from my mother who said the old owners, who were a retired couple, wanted to buy the shop back as they missed it. I jumped for joy and then I calmed myself as I assumed they would offer me much less than I paid. I gave them a number, which was higher than I paid, and they took it. Just like that I was out of a bad situation. They then received the shop back which was repainted, with all new professional printed menus, and a new machine.
All were happy.
About that time my wife wanted to leave the town and go back to AZ, and after many sessions of getting yelled at and beaten down verbally, I went along. Even though I was happy there, my son had all new friends and loved being by his granny, my then wife left on her own to AZ to go “find a house” while me and my son stayed behind. She was now set with a job in the medical field back in AZ. My son was graduating from 8th grade and I wanted to stay so he could have that experience with his friends. My mom and I packed up the moving truck and we tried to sell the house, with no luck. I will never forget the day my son and I left with the moving truck. Seeing my Mothers face as she cried, and we pulled out of the driveway. So much hurt all the way around.
After two months, back in AZ, I found myself in a house I did not like and I was at my lowest when it came to the depression. But I kept a smile on for my son, and decided to start a website writing camera reviews as I have always had a true passion for photography. At that time digital imaging was just starting to emerge and cameras were being seen as a serious alternative to film. I was told I was dumb for doing this in online forum, as I was just a guy writing and had no experience in writing. What those people did not understand is that you can’t stop someone’s deep passion and passion truly is one of the keys to success. You can have it all when you create a business with a true passion. You can have both success AND enjoyment.
Something within said “YES! THIS IS THE WAY, DO IT”.
I listened. I started the website. Within 3 months I was hearing from so many who loved my words and said I was writing the most passionate and real reviews. Wow, I was shocked that it was doing well as I was just one lone guy writing about my passions in my bedroom. It wasn’t long before I received an email and then a call from the singer Seal who invited me on tour with him across Europe to be his photographer.
This was the shot I was looking for as I always dreamt of shooting an album cover, ever since I was a kid! I always put that out there and wondered how someone could get into this kind of thing. I used to look at and adore album covers and admired some of them for their beauty. I would frame them on my walls sometimes. I didn’t think I would ever have a shot at an album cover but I put it out there in the ether, and figured just shooting the shows would be such an amazing experience. I needed it as it was around them my wife was being strange, leaving the house at all hours, fighting more and more and being sort of off.
The wife told me “If you go on tour it is over, you are not going“. I almost didn’t go and that voice (and her own mother) told me I HAD TO DO THIS, as it was something I had dreamt of and here it was given to me by a very generous man, who also knew of my troubles as we talked almost daily on the phone. He later said he invited me to help me heal as he knew I was in a bad place. I mean, this is what I needed to start to see the problems I had within me, almost as if this opportunity was sent by a higher power. I can see that now, but at the time I was nervous but happy to have this shot.
Well, after many weeks in Europe and touring all of these amazing places, even taking morning photo walks with Seal (he loves photography as well) and becoming his friend, I was just starting to realize I have been damaged, in a shell, due to the last 15 years of negativity that was aimed at me so harshly. I was indeed beaten down and it even made me afraid to speak to others.
Honestly, I knew there was something wrong with me inside but couldn’t shake it off. As time went on, and I saw others being “normal” I realized I had to repair the damage. While on tour my wife would text me awful things, and then that voice inside of me said “ignore them” so I did. That was a key to helping as when we feed that negativity with response it grows. So I stopped feeding it.
I then started to enjoy it all. I soaked it all in, and while still quiet and reserved I knew this was all healing me from within. I was listening, even though at that time I wasn’t putting it all together…listening to the voices = good things happen. I was shooting shows each night, hanging with the band and seeing so many beautiful places and things. I remember being in Estonia and being recognized. I was also recognized in Sweden at the Matterhorn Mountain. People were approaching me due to my photo reviews, which is crazy! I would take a walk and someone would say “Are you Steve Huff?? I love your camera write ups”! I couldn’t understand how this all happened but again, when I look back, now I understand.
I was soon in Paris and getting ready to shoot one the last shows I would cover, near the end of the tour.
At that show I was told by Seals manager “you have to get the next album cover tonight”…talk about pressure. WOW. It was on, but I welcomed the challenge and I succeeded.
Here is the result.
That excited me to no end. They even used all of my photos for the inside booklet and soon Warner Brothers records contacted me to offer me a payday for my work. I was excited and even though the pay was peanuts compared to what I was used to, I didn’t care. I appreciated the life changing opportunity and would have paid them to use my photo if they asked : ) Well, if I had any money, of which I didn’t.
By the time I arrived home, after 8 weeks of being in Europe with Seal, my son and his stepbrother told me some news about my wife, their mom. I verified it and well, that was it, and I ended the marriage fully. No more being a doormat. She also wanted out as she had a new man 20 years older than me so the divorce was clean and easy and I signed as soon as I could. Again, I knew from within I had to let go in order to grow as the negativity was keeping me down and after one night of me crying on my knees as she yelled obscenities at me over and over while my son listened, after that, I asked “what the hell are you doing”? Here is someone who its beating you down, punishing you for an opportunity you took, and you are crying and pleading with her to stop. That voice said “STOP IT NOW, YOU MUST”. At that moment I grew stronger and felt an energy inside that made me stronger every day.
We divorced, and after we both signed the papers she came begging for me to come back. Crying out in the rain in front of the house she left me to pay for (but I had no way to pay for yet) and I shut the door in her face. That was it. I felt amazing, and free for the first time in 15 years. I now look at that 15 years as a learning experience from God, to show me the effects of negativity, to toughen my shell, to make me stronger from within, to make me kinder but without weakness, and also to show me the power of inner strength when I finally had the courage to end it. It has made me a stronger person inside and out.
But even so, at that moment I was flat broke. I had a mortgage, a car payment and my commission check from my affiliate camera sales, my only income at the time, was taken by my now ex wife from my mailbox. She forged my name and deposited it in her new account. She told me she wished for me to be broke and homeless and would be happy when she saw me on the streets. Yet she was the one who cheated, lied and did the dirty deeds. All while claiming the opposite. It’s called Borderline Personality Disorder. I can say that since my divorce she has been remarried four times and I was her second husband.
So here I was broke and yes, I was depressed and felt at the time that I must have made a mistake as I had nothing, literally a dollar or so in my bank account and nothing else coming in for 30 days. NO savings, NO retirement, NOTHING! The odds were against me for sure and being 40 years old, I was unsure of a solution to this problem. I remember sitting in my music room, with my best friend at the time, my dog scrubby. He was comforting me as I sat there crying, drinking a bottle of something, listening to depressing music. I was at my lowest point without any clue as to how I was going to survive. I thought of suicide but knew that was not the answer as that voice appeared inside again saying “Get up, stop crying and you will figure it out. Get to work”.
So that I did. I started writing on my photo website daily and every day it was getting more popular. I sold all of my belongings that would bring in good money and as my photo reviews grew, I soon I had companies like Sony coming to my house to give me new cameras before they were released to test them. Leica would fly me to Germany to test new cameras and report on them. Things were looking up. It wasn’t long before my website was one of the top in the world for photo/camera/lens reviews and I was making amazing money (even more than when I was in the adult film industry), and was 100% happy and guilt free about it as I was finally doing what I loved.
I was known worldwide for my reviews. I paid off my house and car and had no debt for the first time in my life. From having nothing to all of the sudden having no worry… and wow, starting from nothing in my 40’s. How does this happen? I believe it was by following the path laid out for me rather than ignoring it. It took strength but I took those leaps, and if I didn’t, I would have been in trouble. Maybe even not on this earth anymore.
I remember one night thanking God for this gift, and allowing me to see the way through the darkness. I then said something like “Oh and if you can let me meet someone nice, an angel on earth, show me the way and I would be forever grateful”. Of course back then I was not sure if there was a God, or if anything would come of my prayer but I had hope and vowed to never ever settle again for unhappiness. Nor would I ever allow it in my life again.
Then, one day maybe a week or two later I get a Facebook message from a woman who I haven’t seen since grade school. Yep, I went to kindergarten with her through 8th grade. Never spoke much with each other back then but I saw her profile picture and checked out her profile and she looked beautiful and sounded like a beautiful soul as well. She lived in Chicago, where we both grew up and I was in Arizona but low and behold I was holding a photography workshop in Chicago that next week. Funny how these things happen but what a sign that was.
I wrote her back and we met for dinner when I was there. It went very well, and I felt an instant draw to her. Not just her beauty outside but the inside beauty that I never experienced before. It felt like home, which is weird to say but it did. Like she was something special, and to me she was. Well, that woman was Debby and we have now been together for ten years, and she is my true soulmate. We do not fight, raise our voices, call each other names, or any of that. We have had a few misunderstandings in ten years but nothing bad, angry or hurtful. It’s just always love, peace and an inner happiness. When there is an issue, we work it out together. We can be just as happy at Disneyland or sitting in our bed laughing at a funny TV show just being lazy.
But Wow. So far so good, all by listening to that voice.
I know this is a long story, but it all does have purpose to show you that yes, listening to that voice inside can help you in so many ways.
So let me jump to the present.
Well, four years ago…and I will make it quick as many of you know the story because it has been told many times. If not, there are videos on my channel about all of what I am about to say. After getting into ITC well over a decade ago, around the time my life starting changing for the better, I was making the boxes, and people were following me on YouTube. It wasn’t long before I hit 50k subscribers and I knew something special was happening.
People were watching, listening and many were seeing it for what it was, which was REAL spirit communication taking place. But I was doing things carelessly. I found that I was starting to do things for views, and attention (though never faking, just doing videos for any reason, even if the video was not good). I didn’t realize it at the time, but looking back I find it hard to watch some of my earlier videos. I was irresponsible and would invite any and all entities in to speak, without a care in the world.
I also was playing the YouTube game then, thinking I had to have an exciting personality and again, some of these I find hard to watch today. It was all part of the learning experience though, so no regrets.
After 5 years or so I was attacked by something dark and not only felt the attack, I saw who was attacking me (there were three) as my eyes went black to this world. Debby witnessed it and it scared her, of course. These attacks continued until I found myself in a hospital bed admitted for heart issues and the doctors had no clue as to what was causing it, even after a battery of tests. I remember being in a hospital and on night two I had to get shots in my belly. There was no way I could tell the doctors of what I saw and what happened as they would have admitted me to the loony bin. I let them do their work and by day three I was out and back home.
I then decided to quit ITC as I assumed I was dabbling in something I should not be dabbling in. I made an announcement and quit. I meant to keep out of it for good but then one night I had a crazy experience in my backyard…and then in restaurants… and then grocery stores and shops and I also asked God for a sign. You can hear the whole story and the amazing physical sign he sent me in the video below. It truly was a sign, 100% and I followed the advice given. Hear what it was in the video below…
My sign from God. It’s pretty incredible.
Yes, I was shown the connection is key and that comes from love and living a good life and making changes to my life.
I was shown belief is what makes a lot of this work, as if we do not believe, fully, a full connection can not be achieved. We have to fully trust spirit and not fear them. We have to believe in love and God’s energy, which we all have within us. We have to believe we are surrounded by God light and when we believe, we are and will be safe. That energy from above is within all of our souls, it is just that many of us keep it locked away with negativity, anger, etc. We can unlock it as we all have God within us, and if we embrace it then we have unlimited power and opportunities in this life. We can achieve what our heart calls for. If we lock it away, we never will see these things manifest.
I started to understand that I would soon have to live without fear, hate, anger, stress, or any negative thoughts. I would have to ignore negativity as if I allowed it in or out of me, it would start to take me down a bad path again. So I decided to do just that.
I avoided online drama. If someone attacked me, or lied about me, or made hate videos on me (as they still do) I ignore them fully and do not give them the attention they crave and seek. After all, those who spread hate, negativity and lies never last long in their journey. They always…always fall by the wayside. It’s that “law of attraction” thing and unless those people change their lives and rid themselves of the evil things such as negativity, anger, hate and fear then they will never prosper for long, if at all. They will always stay at the bottom, feeding off of the bottom.
Anyone who has ever attacked me over the years..well, they have all faded away. To me that is sad in many ways as some of these people, I know, have a good heart inside but they let themselves get in the way of their own happiness, life and success. It comes from the evil things like greed, jealousy and being competitive. Me, I compete with no one. It’s not in my DNA. I just do what I do, and do it as best I can.
But some see others doing well and they hate it. They want to hurt them because they do not enjoy the same success and their ego wants them to “be #1” which is another way of guaranteeing failure for the long term, the long haul. The interesting thing is they never see it, as they just want it and want it now. Our ego can be one of our worst enemies…again, getting in our own way.
We should never obsess about what someone else is doing, rather, do our own thing and keep on our path. Be original, and be you..and you will thrive. Be Humble. Be Nice. Try to be DIFFERENT from the rest who do what you do and set yourself apart.
Going back to quite a few years ago now, when I was getting a lot of attention in ITC I had people send me feces in the US Mail. White powder. Glitter bombs. One guy threatened to kill me on Facebook with a bullet in my head as he lived close and once my address was posted online he was ready to do it, or so he said. I reported it of course and when Facebook deleted it, he ran and hid and closed his page.
I have had true death threats where the FBI was involved. I have had videos made on me with all out lies and even my address posted with the message of “go visit him”. I was called “a rapist” by one vile woman who pushed so much misinformation and lies about me I had to hire a lawyer and have the local sheriff get involved to serve her some papers. Sadly, she has passed from Covid in 2021. Even though she wreaked havoc in my life, or tried to, I am saddened by her death as she had children and she was still a human being. I do feel for her family, and did feel a true sadness when I found out.
I have had amazing people that worked with me and then chose the dark path, even with me pleading for them to not do that. I even told them what would happen (and it did). Well, they also faded away as they chose darkness, jealousy and hate. One made a website mocking me with grade school attacks, all coming from full grown adults, a married couple who hated me for the attention I was getting that they were not. I wondered why grown adults would spend sop much time hating, hurting and attacking someone over attention. Did they not have a life to live?
Every one of these people faded away because again, they only pushed negativity and attracted the same. Their channels were full of hate comments, drama and things that we get sucked into by darkness. They had Facebook groups where it was all filled with hate, anger, lies, and attacking each other at times. It is true that when you jump into the pool of darkness, the darkness soon consumes you and brings you down to the depths with it, and it can be hard to climb out of a deep dark hole when you feel like nothing is going your way.
There have been so many lies about me over the years and some of this stems from those who DO NOT WANT to believe, because it scares them. Many out there still to this day say I used to be an actor (nope not true), I was a sound engineer (nope, not true) or that I seek fame or TV shows. NOT TRUE AT ALL, in fact I despise reality TV as it is not real at all and I have turned down offers over the years due to that fact. In fact, most production companies today will not talk with me as I expose the truth whenever I can about these so called “reality shows”.
All in all those who do these things and say these things are ignorant of the facts, or seek attention for themselves by swimming in the darkness. We see this in all areas of life. Usually those who live with negativity are also the most unhappy among us.
So it is sad to see, but it is also useful validation that when you live with darkness it will take you with it. When you live in light, it takes you with it and amazing things come with that.
When people do these things they do them out of some sort of jealousy which turns to hate. They want to be the one getting attention yet all they did was push hate, lies and nonsense that came brought back memories from the 5th grade. Did they not understand they could never excel in this way?
While I was tirelessly working on my work, others were spending their days obsessing over me and attacking me, or copying me and profiting using my name! Made no sense to me, but here I am many years later, still doing what I love to do and still showing that our soul never dies. My work has improved because I didn’t fall into those negativity traps that darkness was trying to set for me.
All of what I say here is about listening to the good and doing good. But if we fall into the negativity traps we then turn to darkness and if we do that, it is almost certain that is what our life can become. There is a balance in this life and always will be. Good and Bad. Dark and Light. The Yin and Yang. Which side do you choose to be on? That is the question.
Over the last few years spirit has been telling me things I had to do to get my connection stronger. I wasn’t fully listening but when I did, the result is what you have been seeing in my recent work. They told me I had to drink much more water, and I JUST RECENTLY listened. During my last group session I drank 3 bottles an hour! They told me I had to stop enjoying the occasional beer if I were to do sessions that day or the next as it fogged my mind and made it harder for them to speak and connect.
I used to have a medical MMJ (Weed) card in AZ and would occasionally partake and while I never used it in my life until my late 40’s it was something that calmed me and eased some pain in my back. I see nothing wrong with responsible use of a legal drug like weed, it is a natural plant from the earth after all. I preferred edibles as I do not smoke but did try concentrates as well, which did indeed fog my brain for 24 hours or so. I was told many times within and through the box I had to stop. So I did. I feel amazing, clear, sharper and I feel spirit energy much much better. The results have gotten shockingly better as well in my sessions. Did that really have something to do with it? Maybe not, but they told me it did, and I stopped, and well, my sessions and connection improved 10 fold. I believe it.
A woman hears from her love in Heaven. Amazing…
I do not smoke. I do not use any drug. I am on no prescriptions (for that I am thankful, as I know one day I may have to be). I drink lots more water. I never get angry, and that doesn’t mean I keep myself from it or that it is hard to control, I just do not get angry. It’s natural as I have realized anger is useless as it causes only damage, and nothing good ever comes from it. I may get disappointed at times, in someone or something, but anger isn’t an issue for me. I’m more of the calm, cool and collected type.
I do not hate anyone. I never call anyone names. I do not react if someone attacks me, as I know that is on them and not me. I do not yell at anyone. I am kind to all animals and living things. I love all, and help others when I can. Heck, I even rarely say a swear word! Not that I think its bad, they are just words and used to express ourselves, but I am telling you… I go with what is inside of me, and its not like I try to keep these words at bay, I just rarely ever say them! When I do its in a fun way, jokingly. It’s crazy how these days I do not have to try and listen, it’s as if I am on auto pilot and everything they show and tell me from within, just happens automatically.
All I need.
Today, for now, I have all I need to be happy for life and I feel blessed for this. A beautiful piece of property that Debby and I were 100% led to (and it was not expensive in todays world). Honestly, it was much less than what our small starter home in AZ sold for yet we have so much more. The land, nature, the wildlife, the beauty, the birds singing each morning, the peace, the quiet, the serenity and the love. Oh, we also have smelly water as we are on a well, but it doesn’t bother us. : )
I have my “man cave” which consists of a couch, a table and my two channel stereo which is important to me. I feel, and spirit has confirmed that music can feed the soul, heal the soul and it truly helps me meditate, and relax. I have cried tears while listening to music in my room as the sound connects to my soul. It is the one thing I spent good money on, and it truly improves my life. My good friend in AZ once said it was like an alter and he felt it was helping my connection as he also felt the emotion and power from the music here in my system.
I have the love of my life, and have experienced love and kindness from her that I never knew existed until I met her at 41 years of age. I have my son, who is such a good person inside as well. I have my mother and sister and family. I have food on the table and am blessed to have happiness and what I feel is a gift of not only the spirit connection but I have also been given the gift of sight. An ability to see life for what it is and what it is not. What is important and what is not. The gift of being able to love unconditionally and let go of hate, anger, regret and pain. To forgive all who have done me wrong. To know that all will always be OK as long as I stick with love.
It’s a beautiful thing, and that is how I built my connection to spirit and to God. I am not religious as religion is man made. I am spiritual and listen to the source itself and for that, I have been rewarded with true happiness, peace and a knowing that all will always be ok. Many on this earth do the same, I am not special, I just listened to the signs, the messages and what I felt from within. Anyone can do the same.
I do not call myself a physic, a medium or anything fancy. I do not sell my services or claim to have any powers. I’m just a guy who has always had a passion about life after death. Ever since I was a kid. I’ve used Ouija boards since I was 9 years old which also tells me the path I am on has been a long one.
A real connection to Robin. A must watch for anyone interested in truth about life after death. One of my best sessions ever.
It’s all demons! It’s a sin!
To those who say this is evil, you are wrong. Period. That itself comes from fear, misinformation and untruths. Would a demon or evil bring messages of love to heal the living? Would a demon or evil bring so much love to my life and tell me to push the message of love, peace and kindness? Would a demon or evil lead me down a path of enlightenment and seeing clearly? No, they would not. This is a gift, and one I embraced and accepted and I did indeed trust it all, and for that I am able to do what I do.
I believe anyone can do this at this level, if they wanted to. Many are sadly doing it by faking videos while accusing me of faking (it deflects from them). Many do this without understanding the connection and that love is key and wonder why they do not get good results. Many do this with a good heart but do not use the right techniques as they fall info the myths that spirits need fast scanning radio or sone sort of static to speak. Those things like static and fast scanning radio hinder and hurt communication and that is a fact.
Many out there feel my work must be fake because they do not get the same results. Well, again, that is that person getting in their own way again. Stopping themselves from growth due to a closed mind. To succeed in this we must grow from within, accept outside the box thinking and have an open mind with full belief and truly be humble in the eyes of the Lord.
We have to drop ego and always feeling like it is our way or the highway. We have to stop drama and focus on the love, connection and the reason we do this. If those reasons are pure, and the spirits will know, you will succeed when you follow that voice inside of you and your path. Now, you do not have to go to extremes like me and quit the things you enjoy, as you can still connect without doing all of this. I am just telling you how I achieved this very deep and strong connection that I have been blessed with.
So to sum it up
- Listen to the voices and feelings
- Live life with love, kindness, respect
- Drop negativity, anger and hate from life
- Be Humble, see what is truly important in life
- Hurt no one intentionally.
- Trust in God.
There ya go. This is the long story as to how my connection came to be and the journey that has opened my eyes to the reality of this life. I am not a “ghost hunter” or a “Reality TV Entertainer” nor am I a fake, fraud or charlatan out to fool anyone. That is clear to anyone with intelligence who watches my videos these days or to the countless who have met me. To those who have seen me work or worked with me. To the countless who copy my devices, style and techniques.
I am the real deal, and while we have true fakes on YouTube today true faking celebrity spirit sessions (and many are falling for these guys) I respect spirit, and have went through a journey that shows me clearly that those who do that will also fall by the wayside eventually as they are living a lie. That comes from the dark, not the light. That’s all we need to understand. It’s simple really, once you truly look and “see” life for what it is.
Oh yea, so was all of this worth it for me to obtain a strong connection?
100% and I would not change a thing. I feel blessed as I can be even with having “less” of everything that I used to think mattered. That is because I have “more” of what is truly important.
Love to you all!